Should you Compete?

imageI’ve not written a blog for a while not because I haven’t had any dates but perhaps because I have been considering how to deal with the issue of competing.  I mean dating is essentially you trying to meet someone that you connect with, have things in common with and can be yourself with.

But you are competing with a lot of other people trying to do the same thing.  I guess it’s that’s feeling of the grass could be greener on the other side.  In dating this emerges as people dating many at the same time and talking to lots trying to assess which one may indeed be the best match for them.

It’s like anything in life, trying on various dresses for example for a special event until you find the perfect one.

Don’t get me wrong I will talk to a couple of guys at the same time but once I get to the point of actually meeting and dating them I will cool contact with others to give the guy I am dating my attention so my judgement is not clouded by others but also so I don’t have to remember what I have said to who.

A few months ago I meet a guy ‘midland’ for a date and we got on well.  We were talking everyday all day and quickly knew a lot about each other.  We organised a weekend date of activities in Brighton and he travelled down and we spent the entire weekend laughing and going out doing lots of different things he even met a couple of my friends and got we on so well.

However, the bombshell was then well and truly dropped at the end of the weekend that he was in fact dating someone else and had a few dates with her also and he told me he really liked her but as she was going away for a year he wasn’t sure what to do.

At this point I saw it that I had a choice, compete to try and say look I am the girl you should be with or walk away.  No one should ever be second best after all.   I decided to take the option to walk away.  Don’t get me wrong I liked him a lot and would never have introduced him to friends if I had suspected that in his head I was already second best.  But at that time I decided competing for him was not something I wanted to do.

We have stayed friends and I talk to him about her and give him my advice.  I know mad right.  I really think I am too bloody nice to these guys I date and then end up trying to help them bag the girl of their dreams which wasn’t infact me.  Always been a flaw in my personality that I like to see people happy even if technically you could argue they have done me wrong in some way.

So should you compete? I think if it’s truly what you want then you should fight for it but there’s a time and a place or in the dating game a right guy and a wrong one not worth fighting for.  I guess ‘midland’ wasn’t one I wanted to fight for at the end of the day.

Love Brighton Dating Girl x

 

 

 

 

One thought on “Should you Compete?

  1. Very good point here. In my opinion, no, you should not compete; simply because that I am hopeless romantic and that I believe that if the right guy comes along, you don’t have second thoughts, you are not undecided and you don’t to make a ‘choice’ between two people. I don’t think that guy you describe truly liked either of you, to be honest. He was more pondering the possibilities and the facts, which is completely opposite to spontaneity (IMO) but what do I know.. 🙂

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