Too much in common, just your type, seem to say all the right things etc. etc.
I meet one of these a month ago. He contacted me first on POF. His message to me was:
Hey 🙂 You look really nice in your photos, except the dodgy one with the claret and blue shirt ;-p Anyway, was wondering if you fancy a chat, maybe get to know each other better? x
This is actually quite a thoughtful message for a POF guy as at least shows he has looked at my profile. Trust me so many of them don’t!
Anyway we chatted for the remainder of the evening asking each other things such as the 3 things you couldn’t live without, music, work, friends, family stuff, why we both single, POF experiences etc. By the end of the evening we had decided we would like to meet up at the weekend as we both agreed we had an awful lot in common. We exchanged numbers and for the next 2 nights as well as texting spent the evenings talking for hours on the phone.
After talking for just a few days we both decided we didn’t want to wait until the weekend to meet up and arranged to meet up on the Wednesday for a coffee after work. We had both said we were quite nervous and he had also said that he hoped he was right about me and that I was genuine. Given that we had been talking I agreed that I hoped he was too.
When we met the date went really well and I do mean really well. We went for drink and after getting over the nerves we chatted away about everything and a coffee turned into a walk and a few drinks neither of us wanting to end the date.
At the end of the date he said he couldnt wait to see me again and wanted to see me on the Friday. I took this as a good sign as he was meant to be seeing his mates on the Friday, but I explained I didn’t want him to cancel seeing his friends to meet me but I was free on the Saturday as we had previously arranged.
But as these things seemingly do for me it then all went a bit weird from the following morning. He stopped texting as much as infact I didnt hear from him all weekend. He texted after the weekend to say that he had been busy with his mates getting drunk and was very tired.
Since the first date I have seen him twice more and when we are together we have a laugh and get on really well but inbetween he is a completely different person to the guy I used to talk too at the start and who I first met on our first date.
I understand people are busy and have things going on and his reasons for the change are that he has just general shit going on in his life at the moment. He hasn’t gone into specifics. Is he a liar? He could be telling the truth? I have asked him as he challenged me over being genuine and valuing honesty over everything else and yet it does not appear to me that these values are something he seems to also participate in, even if he does expect his dates to have these qualities.
As much as I like the guy, and trust me I do otherwise I wouldn’t haven’t given him the time of day that I have, I cannot help but feel there is something else going on.
I don’t understand why guys or anyone for that matter go on a dating website claiming to want a relationship if actually infact they do not have the time for a relationship.
If they hestitate or don’t know what they want then I guess you just have to accept that you are not what they want. If you are important enough they will want to spend time with you and never be too busy to make time. If you have to fight for things this early on then it’s time to walk away. If they don’t fight for you then they don’t see a future with you.
Life really is short and you should spend it with people that want to spend time with you and not those that cause you grief.
I don’t know how this one will end but for the time being I am leaving him alone to deal with the “General Shit” he has going on in his life.
If he is isn’t lying then I guess I will hear from him again but if he is lying I guess he just another player in this ever growing sea of sharks in the dating world.
Brighton Dating Girl x