Catfish Update

So friends I have had a weird day today on the Catfish Saga. I received a message today on facebook from the real person who’s identity was used to create the profile of Lewis and Greg.  It would appear it was the cousin who is infact not really his cousin after all but an ex friend.  It would appear I am not the first person he has done this too and the real person has had girls turning up at his work that have been catfished by this person.

I have helped him out today with what details I have and he has reported it to the police.

I am happy that I know the truth now and can rest easy knowing that I was right to tell the girlfriend so that they could contact me and get the real person who is doing this hopefully a little bit of karma.

Love Brighton dating girl x

The Depressive

Now I know I say I feel I have dated the set of weirdos and “Ted” is another example of this.  I met Ted on he seemed like a normal guy.  There’s that word again normal! Maybe I should pick one that seems weird and then maybe I will get the opposite effect.

Ted was 32 and local.  We had been chatting for about a week and had agreed to meet at a pub local to my work.  He said it was just for one no pressure drink as he had himself been on a few horror dates and therefore did not want any pressure.  The date started off with him running late and me sitting in the pub waiting but when he did arrive he did at least look like his pictures!

The date went well as we seemed to forget about the one drink rule we had agreed on and went on a bit of a pub crawl through Brighton.  I got home at 2am so for a one drink date thought it went reasonably well.  A few truths were revealed on the date such as he had been married to an asian girl (which wasn’t on his profile) Also that his mum had died of cancer a year ago and he wasn’t over it and had moved back home to look after his dad which had contributed to his divorce and he wasn’t quite over it.  I did however agree to a 2nd date!!

A week later we went on the 2nd date within 1 drink Ted starting talking about his mum.  My dad has been through cancer and I really do appreaciate the pain it can cause but on a second date the conversation was a little heavy and depressing to say the least.  I am looking for someone to date not someone to counsel!  I did however agree to a 3rd date as although the conversation was a little depressing we didn’t lack things to talk about.

The 3rd date however pretty much sealed the deal for me in terms of Ted.  We met at Weatherspoons as he wanted to go somewhere cheap not a great start. I have nothing against Weatherspoons but there is a time and a place and a date is not one of them in my opinion. After a swift drink we moved onto a local Vietnamese restaurant.  We shared a starter as Ted wanted to keep things to a budget and then had a main course each.  I had a couple of beers and Ted had one and then had a bit of my 2nd one.  When the bill came Ted got out his iphone and started to work out what we had each had.  Half the starter each, main course each, 1 and 1/3 beers for Ted and 1 and 2/3 beers for me.  I kid you not he sat there working it out.  The total bill only came to £37.  I got so annoyed I threw £20 0n the table and walked out as the difference was only about £ 1 just to split the bill down the middle.

Ted did try to get in contact with me following the date but I need someone to date who is man not who needs counselling.  Hardly the best way to start any relationship in my opinion.


Brighton dating girl x



Catfish Alert


So this story begins as most of my messed up encounters seem to which is via a message received on POF. I will not use any nicknames in this as after all there really seems no point.

So one Saturday night in June I received a message from a guy call Lewis Holmes, 29 from Longfield the messages started off very positive and we appeared to have a lot in common. His profile seemed just like any other one, he had various pictures and a full description so nothing seemed suspicious. We exchanged numbers and added each other on facebook and we had arranged our first meeting. He had 2 children aged 2 and 4 and therefore given my horror date I suggested bringing the children so we could do something fun like go to the sealife centre in Brighton. My thinking on this was that if I didn’t get on with the children or they didnt like me then we could work this out straight away before any 2nd or 3rd dates.

We chatted on the phone and skyped everyday and things seemed to be going ok. He explained that he had a down syndrome cousin and had told his cousin about me and asked if he could add me as well on facebook. I agreed as it seemed important to him that I would get on with his cousin. Lewis seemed extremely desperate to ask me to be his girlfriend and add me on facebook that we were in a relationship but given we had not met I declined (Alarm Bells did ring at this point!) He had explained to me that his relationship with the mother of his children was not good and she had cheated and he had gone to court over the children.

Anyhow on the Thursday night prior to our Saturday date. Lewis said he wasnt feeling well and had to take his children to his mothers for her to look after them so he could rest. On the Friday he said he was feeling much better and he was 95% certain him and the children would be at the station as planned on Saturday morning. He gave me his email address and asked me to email over the details of the Sealife centre so he could show the children. When I sent the email outlook suggested I stay in contact with this person on facebook which was weird considering we were already friends on facebook. It was Lewis’s picture but when i clicked on it it was a different profile in the name of Greg Smithies. It had the same pictures as the Lewis Holmes profile including I might add pictures of the children.

I at this point started to feel a little sick given that I have watched catfish the tv show. For those of you that haven’t it’s a show about people getting into relationships with people they have meet online and then the person they have been talking to actually turning out to be someone completely different. Remembering some of the things they tell you about and teach you on the show I searched both names on google and came up with nothing. No birth records, electoral roll or anything. I am not a stalker, just given some of the bad experiences I have had and the fact that I live alone a girl can never be too careful and thanks to Catfish the TV show I had learnt a few tricks on how to check a few things out.

I sent Lewis a message asking who Greg Smithies was? He replied saying it was a fake profile that he had set up to chat up girls with his friends and that he no longer used it. He had infact stopped using it the day he started talking to me. hmmmmmm.

Now at this point my friends I should have walked away but agreed to still meet him the next day as planned. Lewis said he would contact me as soon as he got up to let me know he was on his way.

The day arrived!!!! 10.10 ETA on train arriving at Brighton station. At 9.30 I am still at home. No calls from Lewis and no contact. I had tried to call him but no answer. Finally at 11.30 I got a text to say that he was really sorry but his mum had had a nasty fall and he had been at the hospital with her all night and wasn’t going to be able to make it and could we reschedule for the following weekend. I agreed. I received the following message from Lewis:

I crazy for you baby, I love you it’s mad and crazy but I tingle with passion thinking of you . Life’s to short to stand still you have to grab things you want and baby I will fight and be willing to walk a 1,000 miles to show you my love, so I guess I say baby take my heart and let me call you my wonderful, caring, sexy girlfriend xxxxx

I still decline after all I still haven’t met the bloke!

Now the weekend comes and goes and then on Tuesday Lewis who is obviously bored at work starts adding loads of 16 year old girls on facebook and I don’t mean a couple I mean about 50 of them. I send him a message to ask if he is bored as my timeline is full of notifications of Lewis Holmes is now friends with x and y and z. Lewis says he needs to make more sales, he works for Sky in sales. I explain to him that a 16 year girl is not likely to buy Sky considering they probably still live at home but he says yes but they might be able to persuade their parents to buy it! At this point I explain that it is highly unlikely in this day and age that a 16 year old girl will be able to persuade her mum or dad to buy Sky television off some random bloke that has friended her on facebook. Not listening he continues to add them and I send him a message to say you are weird and this behaviour is damn right freaky and therefore I am removing him from facebook. He immediately blocks me before I have a chance to do anything rather than defend himself or call me an idiot. This is indeed the last contact I had with Lewis Holmes/Greg Smithies.

His cousin was still friends with me on facebook so I sent him a message saying I was sorry but Lewis was acting weird and I was going to unfriend him and leave it up to him if he still wanted to be my friend.

2 days later I get a friend request from the cousin. I accepted and on his wall was Lewis/Greg’s picture and comments with yet another name (This time the real one!!) When I clicked on it it said he was in a relationship with a girl who is incidently the girl who was in a few photos on his POF profile but he had labelled as a family friend. She was infact the mother of his children! He had told me his children were called Jack and David when infact they were called something completely different infact the names he had tattooed on his arms who he had told me were the names of his grandad.

Now I decided this was all too much so I reported his profile on POF and explained the story and reported him on facebook. The Lewis Holmes profiles have now been completely removed but the Greg Smithies one is still there on facebook even though it was also reported. Please feel free to go take a look. (Black T-Shirt and Headphones on) I also sent him a message calling him his real name and asking how his children were using their real names and told him I had reported him. I also after talking to mates and the police sent a message to the girlfriend. Mainly because I was worried that this guy uses photos on his children on every profile. I never heard back from her. Maybe she already knew but I knew if it was me and that the fact that children were involved I would want to know. It’s upto her what she does with the information now.

Lewis/Greg  obviously dumped his phone after I confronted him as I then started getiing messages and calls from the number saying someone had found the phone and my number and messages were on it and could I tell them who the phone belonged too. I said I had no idea!

Girls and Guys, don’t get sucked into any stories and don’t fall for the soppy shit. If it moves to quickly then there is a probably a reason they are wanting to you to feel like that. All I can say is if alarm bells ring don’t feel bad for checking up on them. There are some weird people in this world and I feel like I nearly dated the full set of them. Keep your wits about you.

Until next time, take care.


Brighton Dating Girl x

Horror Date

So this blog has probably been the hardest one for me to write.  But feel I should share it even if it does still make me feel a little sick inside.

So I have had 2 encounters that I would class as horrors.  The first of these took place in May.  The guy “Mexico” seemed again to be normal whatever that is nowadays.  We had been talking for about a week on POF and on the phone and had arranged a date for a Saturday night in Brighton, meeting at the Sussex Pub.  He told me to dress up as would be going to some nice places.  So I did and waited outside the pub at 9pm only for him to turn up in jeans and a baggy scruffy polo shirt.  Not the best first impression and it really didn’t get any better.

Instantly feeling over-dressed I decided this was a one drink and leave date.  He had also lied on his profile and revealed he was infact 39 and not 35 as his profile stated.  He also only really lived in the UK about 3 months of the year on and off as was mainly based in Cancun, Mexico.  He was what I would describe as a know it all one of those that regardless of what you have done he has done it ten times better and owns many t-shirts (bloody scruffy baggy ones at that).  It really does not make for great conversation when people are better at everything than you or so they think.

Anyway after my small glass of wine which I realised I had drank probably a bit to quick I tried to make my excuses and leave this somehow turned into just have another small one before you go!

This my friends is as much then of the date that I can remember.  I woke up the next day in bed at 1pm with no recollection of the previous nights events.  I checked my phone to see if there were any clues on there apart from a few missed calls from Mexico at 3.30am it appeared that I hadn’t texted or called anyone.  I texted a few people to see if I had contacted anyone the previous night trying to piece together what had happened.  I had texted a male friend to say I was on the date from hell and my date had slapped me!  But other than that it would appear no contact had been made with anyone else.

I cannot really tell you much else other than I tried to get details out Mexico who obviously thought I was joking that I could not remember and tried to wind me up by saying we had been to a strip club amongst other things.  Once he realised I was not joking he then switched to say he hoped he didnt think he had drugged me.  Given that I have never blacked out before or been in a situation where i have not been able to remember details or the fact that I do not remember anything after drink number 2 I think that I probably was drugged.  I do occassionally have flashbacks as I did after writing this.

It’s one of those things that you think will never happen to you but it can happen to anyone I guess woman or men.

I will never know the full details of that night or what happened to me.  I got checked out to make sure I was ok which thankfully I was but this will always for me be a horror date and one that leaves me extremely cautious for any future dates.

For dates now I try to suggest things like a walk on the pier or something that generally doesnt involve alcohol.

Take care all.


Brighton Dating Girl x










Plenty of Freaks

So ‘Plenty of Fish’ or POF as it’s known is called ‘Plenty of Freaks’ and it has the name for a good reason.  As the site is free is is probably fair to say that this site is harder work than others as only 1 in 100 blokes and I hear woman too from my male friends that use it are what I would call normal.

It is possibly also encouraged as there are 2 options in the what you are looking for category.  One is not single/not looking(Yes I don’t understand that either, why is that even an option on a dating website?) and one is casual/no commitment.  As a result you receive a lot of messages offering one night hookups or married men looking for a release or an escape as they put it.

The first messages you receive from people really do vary.  Some of the ones I have received are as follows:

“I’m really good at massages, fancy one here’s my number xxxx”

“Hi sexy, You have a sexy smile and nice nails, fancy a chat?”

“Hi, Do you have nice feet, cause their is nothing I like more that a girl with nice feet that will let me lick them clean after a hard day at work” (Yes really – Not the worse one I have had either!!)

“Hi” (I did reply Hi) to which I then got  message saying i’m surprised to hear back from you considering I have scat on my profile (I had to look it up too) I will save you the trouble as you probably won’t want it on your internet history.  It’s essentially anything poo related! He did ask if I wanted to be his scat student so he could teach me about all things scat!

IMG_2872Don’t get me wrong I have had some really nice first messages and have struck up coversations with a few people but that is once again where the fun/trauma begins for me.  Mr Germany was a firm favourite for me as we seemed to get on well, shared a lots of interests and no weird first messages.

Mr Germany seemed like a decent enough guy.  We had been chatting for a few weeks and were trying to arrange our first date when he contacted me to say his work had asked him to go and work in Germany for 3 months.  He said the timing was rubbish as we were getting on really well but I told him to go for it and it was only 3 months.  We agreed to stay in contact and would try to meet up in Brighton before he went and on a weekend visit home and then maybe I could go and see him in Germany.  He had to leave pretty much straight away so we did not get to meet up but continued to stay in contact via phone and text.  Then after his first full week away I got a text on the Saturday morning saying “I can’t be a 100% certain but I think I might have knobbed a German bird last night lol” Well guess what I didn’t laugh out loud.  My reply was “How nice for you, thanks for sharing”  I would love to tell you what he was thinking when he sent me this meesage but I can’t, maybe he thought I can’t do this 3 months is too long so I’ll annoy her to put her off but I really don’t know to be honest.

Now Mr Germany is also the guy that sent me the picture of his manhood against a sky remote as mentioned in my previous blog.  It was described as material to keep me going until his return to the UK!   Naive of me as Mr Germany seemed normal to start with but actually turned out to be knob that obviously had a bit of a thing for ‘knobbing’ birds  I do occasionally hear from him. He is still in Germany and hasn’t been back to Brighton.  He is thinking of staying in Germany so don’t worry girls there will be no “knobbing” happening with Mr Germany.

Next time I will tell you about my worse online dating horror.


Brighton Dating Girl x






Taking the Plunge

So after joining and POF I started to put the work in browsing the catalogues of men that take your fancy.  It really is like that thousands upon thousands of profiles for your viewing pleasure.  It’s hard work but no-one said it was going to be easy.  After a while you start looking for the ones that stand out from the crowd as you are viewing them to tend to notice the same things cropping up again and again. Mainly they all say they would like a girl with tits and ass and younger.  I am not saying the first 2 are an issue for me as I have both but the problem lies in the fact that I have never dated anyone older than me and therefore this does cause an issue.  I am not ruling it out but I tend to find that guys younger than me tend to like similar things to me.

My first 2 encounters were with guys from we will call them ‘Spanish’ and ‘Marathon’ Now Marathon is maybe an exception to the things above as we actually struck up quite a good friendship and are still friends now.  We quickly realised we weren’t going to be compatible for dating mainly because marathon won’t date anyone above the age of 35 so actually I guess he does fall into one of the categories above.  Anyway as bizarre as it may seem we quickly felt comfortable talking to each other and we would face-time for hours at a time and call each other at stupid times of the day and night and ask each other for advice on dates.  We still talk now and it is a little weird as I thought I had joined not but potentially I guess I may have made a friend for life so might be worth the £70 subscription fee!

Spanish on the other hand is a totally different story.  Spanish is Spanish not that I needed to explain that I guess but he seemed quite sweet.  Had moved to London from Spain to teach and played guitar.  Seemed nice from pictures and from our emails and messages on  After a few weeks we exchanged Skype details and this my friends is where it goes a little downhill although in a strange way a story that will make me laugh for years to come.

On Valentines day Spanish asked if we could skype so with my wine in hand we Skyped.  All seemed to be going ok and we were having a nice normal chat he was sitting at a desk on a webcam and I was using Skype on my phone.  Now what happened next is the bit that might make you spit out your drink as trust me that is what happened to the wine that was in mouth at the time.

Out of  blue as if to give me a Valentines treat Spanish pushed back his chair to infact reveal that the whole time we had been talking he was naked from the waist down! He then pointed to his manhood and said “Do you like what you see?”  At this point I spat out my wine and nearly dropped my wine glass and my phone.  I had no repsonse I really wasn’t expecting in and it wasn’t like any of our conversations had been of a sexual nature.  My reply to his question was “Erm I’m sorry but my battery is going to run out, got to go” and then I hung up.

Now Spanish tried to call me back on numerous occasions that night but I couldn’t answer, mainly because what if I answered and he then had no clothes on at all.  He sent me a few pictures as if to entice me to answer his calls but alas I guess I didnt like what I saw and haven’t spoken to him since.

Now girls I would love to tell you that Spanish is the exception to the rule but the facisnation with pictures is definitely a trend that is here to stay I have had various pictures sent to me and various pictures requested.  Some try to put the size of their manhood into perspective for you which is nice of them!  One sent me a picture with his manhood next to a sky remote.  When they ask for the pictures also depends on the guy. Sometimes it’s the first thing they ask sometimes they wait a day or two or a few weeks but the time always comes.  I am not against pictures but think maybe you should meet first as not really going to entice you into wanting to meet someone for a first date.


Brighton Dating Girl x


Who’s idea was this?

So I have never tried online dating before and as my only opportunity to meet guys tended to be on girls nights out at Oceana in Brighton I needed to try a new approach.  Not that the guys you meet out are not my type but let’s be honest when they have had a few pints who knows if you are really theirs!  What’s the old phrase 10 to 2 bird/bloke (I guess now that’s 10 to 3 or 4) depending on the club.  For those of you not familiar with this phase it basically means the club is getting close to closing so you grab the nearest girl or guy nearest to you just so you can have a kiss.

A few of my friends had experienced the world of online dating and the reviews were to be honest very mixed with various levels of success.  After much persuading from those that had the success I hasten to add,  I decided to take the plunge and signed up to Match.Com and Plenty of Fish. is a site you have to pay to sign up too and Plenty of Fish or POF as it is known is a free site.

To be totally honest I was so nervous even just typing in my details.  I am no sales woman and am definitely one that looks at my negatives more than my positives and the whole idea is to sell yourself to attract the right person for you.  Not something that comes natural to most people.

*TIP* Be yourself – you can’t look at what other girls have written about themselves and you just have to be honest about you and what you want from a potential date.  Don’t try to think about what a bloke might want as half the time they don’t know themselves and therefore whatever you write will be appealing to some but not to others.

Anyway with the sign up complete you are faced with the daunting task of flicking through thousands and thousands of profiles.  The best way to describe it is like you flicking through a catalogue to see what takes your fancy.  You really do have to put the time in.  The site’s vary slightly but the concept is the same.   On you can wink at someone you like to show you are interested and on POF you can click on the Meet Me button.  On both you can send messages.  The one thing I would say is do not get disheartened by non-responses.  This is easier said than done trust me I know but as much as you might take a liking to someone they might not feel the same about you.  You definitely need to develop a little bit of a thick skin when it comes to this part of online dating.

I would also say be prepared there are after all some weird people in this world and some I believe have never spoken to a girl before as some of the messages you can receive are let’s just say funny, scary and damn right out of this world cheesy.  My favourites in terms of first contacts for the pure oh my god are you serious factor are:

“Your breasts make my balls jingle like a coin purse”


“Do you like raisins? Cause you raisin this dick”

Needless to say neither of this 2 blokes received a reply from me.

Next time I will tell you about the first few guys I spoke to on the sites and my experience of these contacts.

Until next time……


Brighton Dating Girl x






And so it begins

And so it begins…..Found myself single in my 30’s after being married to someone that all my friends detested and my family tolerated but infact he turned out to prove them all right by cheating on me at a time when infact I needed him the most.  Such is life and you live and learn as they say.  Or do you?

As you read my blog you will find that I have a type “Dark hair” and a bit of a “Bad boy” yes I know why do us girls do it? Answer is I have no idea!  We all know “Bad boys” are just that and you can’t change them as much as you think you can.  Part of me thinks it’s because at least I guess you know what you are getting.  But through my new found confidence which I will explain how this came about I am trying not to go for my usual type.  Well “Dark hair” is still a must on my check list but the “Bad boy” is the one I am trying to change.  It cannot be that hard to surely find someone decent??

So my blog begins in September 2012 at this point I had been single for 6 months and fair to say had pretty much zero confidence.   It was time for a boost and therefore a good girlie night out which translates into getting Brighton Dating Girl to tash on (Kiss for those that do not watch Geordie Shore) The scene of the attempt Oceana in Brighton’s West Street.  Oceana for those of you that have never had the delight is described as the world in one night – Basically various different themed rooms.  I won’t bore you with the details but it’s a marmite place you either love it or hate it.  I fall firmly in the love it camp.

Anyhow I digress, my friends are on a mission to prove I am attractive and can get a kiss from a good looking bloke and give me the much required boost.  Mainly because I think when you in a relationship that isn’t working you do lose a bit of yourself and are not actually yourself anymore.  You don’t see this yourself but your friends and family do and they all wanted the old confident Brighton Dating Girl back.

After a few hours my friends have located a guy that firmly falls into the “Dark hair” type dancing in the disco room .  We will just call him ‘Essex’ mainly because he was from Essex and looked like a typical Essex lad.  Anyhow given that Brighton Dating Girl has by now sunk a few fat frogs (Blue WKD, Smirnoff Ice & Orange VK in a pint glass) I have a little bit of confidence to go and join my friends and the cute Essex lad.  ‘Essex’ does indeed tick the boxes.  These boxes for me are basically dark hair, cute, funny and good looking (I understand good looking is different to everyone but to me I guess my ideal man in terms of looks and the boxes is someone like Ryan Reynolds or Matt Jarvis)  and although a little younger than me (yes I guess I did fall into the cougar category) After a little bit of dancing not quite dirty dancing style but a bit of ‘Love Shack’ and ‘Five’ I do infact get a kiss from ‘Essex’ infact me and ‘Essex’ end up exchanging numbers and seeing each other a few times over a 3 month period.  ‘Essex’ was indeed just what I needed at that point in my life.  Taking me for dinner, holding the door open for me, speaking to me everyday and treating me like a princess.  That’s what all girls want I guess a little romance in their life.  ‘Essex’ is the the reason for my confidence now and the reason I decided to start internet dating  as although he was a few years younger than me I can hand on heart say that the guy was an absolute gentleman.  It ended because he did at the end of the day live in Essex and was younger and we were at different points in our life.  But we stayed friends and I was always be grateful for the confidence he gave me but also the reason I decided “Bad boys” were no longer the way forward and that good guys do exist you just have to look a little harder.


Brighton Dating Girl x